Step 2: Home

  Now, if you've followed Step 1, you must have established to at least your classmates by now that you are not to be befriended ( by popular people ). If you do have a friend, and you like that friend, make sure he or she knows that you are following this step-by-step 'course'. That way, they won't attempt to make you do things that are harmful to your progress in this course (read some examples listed in the glossary). Now, on to Step 2. If you haven't grown accustomed to being a dork at school, chances are you're going to let your guard down at home. Well, you can do that in your free time. Choose one day of the week where you can be yourself at home until you grow accustomed to or even like being a total dork. Any other day, you should do homework before you spend free time(though disobeying this rule every once in a while is not deadly), don't play popular computer games or games that your parents wouldn't approve of if they knew what they were really about, and DO NOT TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT THIS COURSE. I don't even know if you're a kid, or if you live with your parents. Anyway, if you've been considering these instructions, you'll see that they all have an impact on how you conduct yourself in Step 1 (school). in conclusion, to be unpopular in life, you must first be unpopular in school. If you are an actual human being reading this, please comment: Hi, my name is Someone.
*GLOSSARY* List Of Things That Are Harmful To Your Progress
                          1. Being pretty. This involves wearing watches, wristbands, Rainbow Loom bands, and participating in makeovers (if you're in that kind of school.)
                           2. Having popular friends. Popular friends will inevitably make you popular sooner or later, and that's the exact opposite of your goal.
                            3. Being rich. Now, you can't help this, of course, but it would be best to keep it to yourself, or else you will be temptingly invited to join the popular crowd.
    There's way more, but this is just an example.

Step 1 : School

  Let's start at the very beginning. The place where all popularity and UNpopularity is (are? ) birthed. The first step to sucking in school is to be a really good student. Pay attention to all your classes and get really good grades. Don't disobey the teacher's orders or any rules. At all. You may be thinking this is just a trick to get you to do good in school. NO. All kids think that, if you're a good student, you're a lame wimp. Especially boys. If you're a girl, you may have to try a little harder. Read. Don't play video games or computer games. Don't be friendly with the boys. Don't have a gang of your own, though having a best friend is fine, even if she's crazy popular. As long as you don't take after her popularity-wise, you'll be fine. If you're rich and/or good-looking, you probably have no chance of sucking at life. Sorry. Go find another blog that would be more helpful to you. All right, as soon as you've got your smart-guy/girl reputation down, it's time to establish that look even further by wearing oversize clothes, especially a long skirt or pair of pants. Make sure you look as dorky as possible. The 'pathetic' look is, of course, best achieved by short people ( like me ). For the last detail in Step 1, you must NEVER hang out on the weekend with popular kids or anyone else from school. Spend it obsoletely alone with yourself and your family. If your parents question this and make you go hang out with someone in your class, make sure you let them know that you've never done it before. Make it sound like you never thought hanging out with a school friend outside of school was possible or reasonable. Do NOT mention lessons like skating, singing, dancing, or anything rich people do. If you have no problem these instructions, it's time to move on to Step 2, which I will have up by next week ( to give you time to follow Step 1 and establish your suckiness ).
  Please comment! If you want to complain, you can e-mail me at sirinpalm@gmail.com. Thanks, and see you next week!

Welcome Message

Hi. I'm the admin of How To Suck At Life. This blog will teach you, step by step, what NOT to do on your path to greatness. This will be MOST useful to middle-school kids, but others can feel free to read it for comedy and/or entertainment. If you like it, please post a comment, or share this to your friends. I also run another blog with my sister, called 'The Weekly Twins.' You can check it out at www.mutuandmutu.blogspot.com. As for this one, the address is glimberbelle.blogspot.com. Pretty lame, I know, but all the other addresses I tried were unavailable. Anyway, if you want to learn more about me (which you don't), you can click the page titled 'ME ME ME!'. But if not, I'll have my next post (Introduction to Failure) up in a couple of days. Thanks for taking the time to read this! Please leave a comment!